Parents who are going through a divorce have to deal with a lot of emotions that come with splitting up — and a custody battle doesn’t help.
Whatever is giving rise to the contentions between you and your spouse, however, you need to avoid making some big mistakes both now and in the future. You may be angry, frustrated and worried — but you need to keep those emotions in check and avoid these three problematic behaviors:
Problem behavior #1: Wishing harm on your ex
The things that your ex goes through can impact your children, too, so it’s always best to hope that your ex’s life is going well. If you can’t wish your ex well, however, you at least need to avoid expressing any desires to see them hurt or suffering. In particular, watch what you say on social media or to other people. Those sentiments can wind up being repeated (or read) in court during your custody case and make you look very bad, indeed.
Problem behavior #2: Speaking negatively about your ex to the kids
Similarly, you need to avoid disparaging your ex to your child. After all, your ex is still your child’s other parent. It might be beneficial to remember that even someone who was a horrible spouse can be a great parent. Denigrating your ex to your child can lead to accusations that you are actively trying to damage the parent-child relationship between them.
Problem behavior #3: Communicating through your child
Never try to pass messages to your ex through your child. No child should be a messenger between their parents. Instead, find the best way to communicate directly with each other. This might mean using a parenting app so that all communication is recorded or working through your attorneys. Either way, you don’t want to put your child in the role of a go-between because that can cause the court to question your parenting skills.
The terms that will govern the child custody arrangement should be covered in the parenting plan. Getting this together as soon as possible can help your child to have the stability they need to thrive despite the divorce.